An Unexpected Financial and Personal Bonus

Back in February, before my daughter was born, my husband and I made the difficult decision that I would give up my income and be a stay at home mom as I have always wanted. My husband is finishing up his dissertation for his Ph.D., so the income he could bring in would be from temporary sources and would not include insurance.

We looked at a variety of insurance plans and were overwhelmed by the price. So, I decided to ask for another leave of absence at my job instead of just quitting; that way I could keep my insurance benefits while paying out of pocket a smaller expense than getting private insurance for our family.

I wasn’t sure what the response to my request would be because, at the time I asked, I had just come off a leave of absence with my second child nine months ago and because I was asking for a 16 month leave. (My first leave of absence for my second child was 10 months long.)

While investigating my leave, I was informed that I could use some of the sick time I had accrued during my 10 years on the job to get at least a partially paid leave of absence. (I had not even known this was an option; my first leave of absence was entirely unpaid.)

To my surprise and delight, my full 16 month leave of absence was approved. Five months of that leave will be at my full rate of pay. During that time I will not have to pay extra for insurance benefits and my retirement will continue to be funded. After that, my leave will be unpaid and I will have to pay out of pocket for my insurance benefits.

What a wonderful gift we have been given! Between my full time salary for the first five months and the fact that my husband can now work instead of watching our kids while I work, we should be able to set up quite a nice emergency fund to last us through the unpaid leave of absence. I am so grateful for this. Now the only loose string is my husband’s degree. He has to graduate before the 16 month leave is over.

Welcoming Our Baby Girl

(Big brother meets his new little sister for the first time.)

Our third child was born on Tuesday, April 20th. After much debating, we decided to name her Delaney. The delivery itself was a scheduled c-section and was uneventful.

However, looking back on the pregnancy, there were a number of near misses that we were happy to avoid. For the first 24 weeks of my pregnancy, when I went to the doctor for check-ups, she could never detect the heart rate. This was troubling at first, and then became normal for me. Each appointment then involved an ultrasound to check the baby's well being. It turned out the placenta was in the front of my stomach and blocking the doctor's access to the heart beat.

Late in the pregnancy I developed high blood pressure and had to go on bed rest. I was very lucky that the progression of this was slow so we were able to carefully monitor it and still have the baby on her scheduled date, rather than earlier.

When I was having the c-section, I asked the doctor to look and see if everything was alright internally because my husband and I have seriously thought about having four kids and I know risks increase with every c-section. The doctor told me during the surgery that my uterus was paper thin; she could literally see through it and said she had never seen one that thin without it being a uterine rupture and putting both baby and mom in danger. She thought if we waited one more day to have the baby it would have ruptured.

Of course, I am sad that this means no more kids for us, but I feel very blessed that there was no rupture and both of us are safe and healthy.

She is a very calm baby and her brother and sister are both excited to have her home, as are we.

My Plan for My Mom After the Baby Comes

In my experience, some people are cleaners and some people are cookers.

For instance, it drives my mom crazy when her house is messy; when she comes to my house, all she wants to do is clean. Yet, when it comes to cooking and eating, she really is not that fussy. She will happily eat a rotation of the same 3 to 5 Weight Watchers meals every night for dinner. Even when I was little and she did cook, it was always the same main meals.

I, on the other hand, am a cooker. It bothers me a little when our house is messy, but unlike my mom, I don’t feel immense satisfaction in cleaning the walls or heating vents. I just don’t care that much. I do, however, love to cook. I enjoy trying new recipes. Last summer I made a binder of our 90 favorite recipes; I thought that would be enough, but I still continue to want to cook new things.

I am only two short weeks away from delivery now, and rather than clean the house top to bottom, my nesting instinct seems to be coming in the form of cooking. I am trying to fill our freezer with yummy foods that will feed us for 6 to 8 weeks after the baby is born so we don’t have to rely on processed frozen food or take out.

Don’t get me wrong, I am noticing things around the house that need to be cleaned, but it is just that I don’t have much energy after taking care of my little girl all day and trying to stock the freezer in addition to getting my eBay business up-to-date while she naps.

My mom will be here for almost two weeks after the baby is born (huge thanks, mom!), and I know she will get antsy. I also know she will want to clean my apartment. This can sometimes lead to frustration on my part, because she seems to fixate on things I don’t care about like trying to get all the dirt build-up off of our ancient radiator in the bathroom. (It is impossible; she tries it every visit, and every visit she tries anew.) So, this time, I am making a list of the things I would like to clean but have not had time to do. That will keep her busy (and, strangely, happy) and I will end up with not only a freezer full of food, but a clean house.

Goals for the Weeks Before Baby #3 is Born

I am now officially on maternity leave, and just 34 short days from now, our third child will be born. (The only good thing about a mandatory c-section is that at least I can make firm plans and know exactly when the baby will arrive, unless, of course, she decides to come early.)

Now that I am through working, I can focus on our house, which is in sore need of attention. Anyone who has read this blog for any length of time knows that I love lists, so here is my list of things to accomplish in the next 5 weeks:

Clean our bedroom and rearrange the furniture so there is room for the baby.

Clean out our small dresser to make room for the baby’s clothes.

Clean our living room book case. The bottom two shelves where my 16 month old daughter can reach are very neat and full of her books. The upper three shelves are a cluttered mess, and now that she is growing taller, she is starting to reach up there. I can just see everything falling on her head.

Clean our entry way.

Write several freelance articles.

Make at least 15 freezer meals for after the baby comes, which should get our freezer meal total up to 20 to 25 meals.

Declutter the house. I am going to set the goal of getting rid of 200 items in the next 5 weeks.

List all of my son’s outgrown summer clothes on eBay and sell them all.

Most importantly, decide on a name for the baby!!!!

Our Newest Baby

I have gotten 3D ultrasounds with each of my children. I just love getting a glimpse of what the baby looks like.

I went last Saturday to get one for our daughter due in April, and the quality was so much better than either of the two I have done before. We could see her so clearly! She was sleepy and kept yawning and rubbing her eyes.


Do you see her chubby cheeks in the picture? It looks like she will be a big baby like my other two.

This one also moves all the time, especially when I am trying to sleep. When we first started the 3D ultrasound, she was transverse--her head was on one side of my belly and her feet were on the other. I felt a large movement, and the technician was amazed because right before our eyes she flipped herself into the breech position.


I can't wait to meet her in April!

We're Having . . .

We are having a girl!! We had the ultrasound today and found out it is a girl.

My husband is happy because our other daughter will be 18 months when the new baby is born. He is hoping they will be great friends. I hope so too.

My best friend when I was little had two sisters about 18 months apart, and they terrorized one another. Hopefully ours will get along great.

Plus, I get to recycle all of my daughter's Gymboree clothes she just outgrew. Now the long wait until April when we actually get to see the baby!

Our Good News!

My husband and I always wanted three kids. My son and daughter are 4.5 years apart, so we knew the last two would have to be close together if I wanted to have all three before turning 40.

So we were very excited to find out I am now pregnant for number three!! We will know the sex of this little one, due in late April, in just five weeks.

It will be quite a shift for us in that my daughter and the new baby will only be 18 months apart. (If any readers have advice about babies born close together, I am all ears.)